Whoda' Thunk It?

Although it would seem as if I do nothing all day, that couldn't be further from the truth. I run errands (which is what all lazy people say when they spend a lot of time running the gas out of their cars), look for items I wish I could buy, exercise (which is amazing... I have managed to gain 3 pounds since I've been working out and just in case you were wondering YES my thighs still touch...whoda' thunk it?) and a myriad of other complex things I don't have the time to explain to you right now.
But I will tell you of a protest I am planning. It is against the Georgia Department of L_ _ _ _ _ (just in case President Jack a*s I mean Bush is using the patriot act to read my blog [For those of you who may need some assistance it rythms with that holiday in which we are supposed to plant trees {speaking of trees I heard a comedian say something funny, which means when I repeat it, it won't even be twice as funny...don't you hate it when that happens, he was talking about how you have a bunch of people walking around talking about save the trees, save the environment, can't you see the beauty in the trees when you see them. He said as a mater of fact I can't all I can see when I see when I look at trees are....well let's just end it there cause I forget and it has lost it's funniness already.) Services which should be renamed the Department of Incompetent People Who Somehow Managed to Get Jobs and Are Only Employed There to Make Those Who Don't Have Jobs Feel Like Sh*t. We could call it I.C. (Incompetence Central) for short. Because I had reached the end of my unemployment rope I did what every college student born after 1976 does at least once...apply to UPS. So I go over there based on a flyer that says SPECIFICALLY that they will be INTERVIEWING. Now I may only have two degrees but I think it's a rather safe assumption that when a company says they will be interviewing, most likely that's what they will be doing. BUT faithful readers that would throw the I.C. into complete chaos, and actually cause some of the unemployed to get jobs. Then what would all those people who are employed there have to do? Whoda thunk it? So as I signed my name to the WAITING LIST, which at the time seemed like a good idea since I would be INTERVIEWING, to wait my turn. After a brief game of Sudoku (which I realize is a game designed for middle to upper middle class whites who have time or the money to do things like have a game night, I digress...) my name was called, along with three other people on the waiting list. Although this seemed odd to me I figured it was a group interview...which got me about as excited as a Barry Manalow concert (not that I even really know who he is, for those of you who do and listen to him regularly if you start to squint to look at the page or have to turn the volume up on your office phone don't worry it's probably acid reflux). When we get back there, there was a guy with pamphlets in front of them, get this... he hands all three of us a pamphlet and READS DIRECTLY FROM IT.
ARE YOU (bleep) (bleep) (explicative) me? I backed the pimp mobile out of my driveway, used precious gas that I have to almost agree to sell my soul to wal-mart for just to get more, and drive down to the I.C. in GA heat (cause you know I couldn't use the air, I just told you what I had to do to get gas to drive the car imagine what I would have to sell to have enough gas to turn the air on) with the windows down which only allows the hot air to fill the interior of the vehicle, to have this Jacka*s read to me from a brochure! At this point I wasn't even annoyed....oh no. My annoyance came at the end of our "interview" when he then told me to go on-line and apply. (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (four letter explicative) !!!! (You all can thank a certain Asian [we won't reveal her particular ethnicity] for my new found colorful language)
In my annoyance I have decided to protest incompetence. Here's what we're going to do. I have declared tomorrow National Incompetence Free Day. This means we will be shutting down the DMV, the Post-Office, BYU, and Sonic (have you ever been to Sonic's drive thru... try it you'll know exactly what I'm talking about). In addition to shutting down these bastions ( I just like to use that word not only does it look cool but stupid [to be sensitive non-smart] people just look at you when you say it as if you were talking about a fatherless child) of incompetency. to make sure you have some personal, well deserved fun I am giving you a coupon (pronounced qu- pon, not coo-pon, a coo is something that happens in other countries when the government ain't acting right) to give to any incompetent people you may meet. Fell free to cut and paste it, below the coupon will be instructions on how it should be used.

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would like to take this opportunity to personally thank you for all you contribute to the world.

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When you encounter someone who exudes an exorbitant amount of incompetence feel free to give them one of these. In your own little soul you can sit back and laugh, (btw that structure in the middle is supposed to be a large "I". Laugh if you wanna this ain't Microsoft word it's a blog) because you and only a couple of others know what it really means.
Ok so I'm not feeling particularly funny (I missed nap time) so I'm going to end it here by letting you know that the restaurant ( I spelled it right all by myself...everyone clap, no I'm serious clap. Please clap?. To those of you who did thanks, love and miss you, those who did not may you have an itch in your nose just beyond the reach of your finger) finally called me back and I start Monday. So I'm back in the working poor club!!! Woohooo.
Remind me to go off on people who talk about the unemployed/welfare recipients and what they are doing to our society.